Coaches Coach People!
Oct 7
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Harry Marshall
In terrible LinkedIn form, I hadn’t updated my profile pic in 5 years and I just received my ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) renewal for another 3 years. The process gave me an opportunity to reflect on my 7 years of practice as a coach, so I thought I’d share my Top 10 Learnings (and updated my profile pic at the same time – whaddya think?!).
1. Coaches coach people.
Whether you’re a CFO, Marketing Director, Team Lead or Business Head, I coach the human in front of the job title, not behind it. This means curious and respectful exploration of the coachee’s whole life experience and context. An executive coach colleague of mine once said “I’m not a life coach… But I have yet to meet an executive who doesn’t have a life”.
2. Yes, we can give advice.
This answer to the age-old question in the coaching industry is clear to me now. If giving advice is all a coach is doing then it’s not coaching. But I have experience in business, in leadership and in life. When I think that storytelling is a useful way to stretch the coachee’s thinking, I’ll share my stories and my advice. My experience tells me the coachee wants to hear a point of view, as long as they’re not railroaded into accepting it.
While advice is more closely associated with Mentoring, it can have a place in a coaching session. I was once coached by someone who let me ramble on for 10 minutes out of an hour, then spent 50 minutes telling me all the ways he’d helped “other people” like me. It was as infuriating as it sounds. That sort of behaviour is self-indulgent opinionating, not carefully curated advice or a challenging viewpoint to wrestle with. It has no place in coaching.
3. Be a coach – not a couch!
Offering comfort is not the primary goal of a Coach. Coachees have invested because they want to grow through challenge and stretch. Most will accept some discomfort in service of that. The way I coach – and the way we encourage all of our Dramatic Difference coaches to work – is as a champion of high caring to enable high daring. Modeling that kind of psychological safety with Coachees, can help those leaders and teams see how it’s possible. One of the highest compliments I received from a Coachee was when they described working with me as feeling “valuably uncomfortable”… And then they signed up for more sessions!
4. Big boys do cry.
As a male coach, I’ve learned how important it is to create a completely safe and non-judgemental setting when coaching other men. When I give male coachees the time & space they need, they are willing to be completely vulnerable. I’ve witnessed just as many men as women come to tears in coaching. And often the tears come from the men you’d least expect; they report not feeling able to be so open with most people in their lives.
5. Burnout is endemic, toxic work environments are rife.
So many seemingly senior, high-functioning people are overwhelmed by life – career, children, ageing parents. Not to mention chronic illness, societal exclusion, or just keeping pace with the pressures of modern life. Too many of us have too little time to pause, reflect, cut through the noise and organise our thoughts. Yet having the time and space to do so is hugely cathartic and healing.
The whole coaching process is to move towards goals that coachees and their sponsors set. But at the end of each session, I love hearing coachees report that they feel lighter, more relaxed and have regained a sense of control – that spaciousness is what makes progress possible…
6. The ‘thing’ is probably not really the thing…
Coaching is often set up to address ‘Issue X’, but it ends up being something quite different altogether. Coach and coachee alike benefit from holding those objectives lightly – as symptoms or by-products – and staying open-minded and curious. When we take the ‘balcony view’ to get perspective on the present and future, and tidy up the past that’s ‘concealed down in the basement’, we often discover that we’ve resolved whatever was showing up as ‘the thing’ today.
7. Corporate-speak is not a diagnosis!
Sponsors of coaching frequently tell me their colleague or team member needs help to develop their ‘communication skills’, ‘conflict management’ or ‘executive presence’. I have learned not to take this on face value. Understanding the Coachee’s lifeline, values and current experience will often reveal what is really happening to impede these things. And it is often much deeper and far more elusive. Often a blend of ‘mindset coaching’ and ‘toolkit training’ can help the Coachee find their own authentic expression of the desired behaviour.
8. Dig deep to build high.
All the people I coach are smart, successful people. Conceptually, they already know what they need to do. What the deep coaching I do can uncover is how our thoughts trip up our intentions, what self-limiting narratives, or unresolved grief is holding us back, or, what over-strengths are derailing us. From there we can tackle the inner work and mindset needed to maximise potential and bring our goals to life. The job of the coach is to help the Coachee access and navigate their inner world.
9. ‘Coachability’ and ‘Chemistry’ are real.
Not everyone is suitable or ready to be coached. Corporates sometimes waste money prescribing coaching as a last-ditch intervention because people have avoided too many difficult conversations internally. The coachees who get the most out of coaching are all-in, all the time.
Equally, I’m not the right coach for everyone. I’ve learned to identify when someone – or something – is a better fit for the coachee. A needy or greedy coach is a dangerous thing. Always check that your coach has had the courage to say ‘No’ to someone!
10. Listening is a superpower.
Deep listening sits at the core of great coaching. It requires intentional effort, intuitive connection, and far more practice than you might think. I’ve become acutely aware of when I’m at my listening best and when I’m not. My inner work is to notice in that moment and channel switch to reconnect to the client at every level. Listening as a Coach is a high intensity investment of brain and energy that delivers massive insight returns. It’s the magic I love in my work.
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Harry is a leadership development and cultural competence coach and facilitator, working with senior leaders and teams in multinational organisations across Asia Pacific and the Middle East.
He empowers leaders to develop and refine their leadership style, enhance their communication, and build intercultural competence to enable psychological safety and inclusion for high performance.
He works with a range of tools, including Hogan, Leadership Circle Profile, CoreStrengths SDI, and Workplace Big5, and designs facilitated strategy planning workshops and offsites for teams setting out their vision and defining their objectives and KPIs.
If you’re curious about how coaching could benefit you or your organisation, check out www.dramdiff.com or drop Harry an email at [email protected].
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Vipul Maholtra, Hong Kong
Vipul is a Leadership Facilitator, Executive Coach, and Actor. His passion is to work specifically in areas of Individual Leadership and Organizational Development with expertise in Executive Presence, Storytelling with Presence, Situational Leadership, Managing Team Dynamics, and Emotional Intelligence.
Harry Marshall - Singapore
As a facilitator and coach, Harry specialises in leadership transitions and career coaching. He works supporting leadership and functional teams across APAC, drawing on his operational and commercial background developing and servicing complex client accounts. Since 1995, he has lived & worked in Singapore, Indonesia and the Philippines and has extensive commercial experience across the region. His passion is helping clients to to understand, leverage and refine their leadership style, develop skills in presentation, communication and dialogue, and build psychological safety in teams for high performance.
Sally Dellow - Hong Kong
Sally is an executive coach and facilitator (and an actor, playwright and published poet) with over 30 years global experience. A specialist in leadership coaching and team development, Sally is an active thought partner with thousands of hours of coaching up to C-suite/Board level. She coaches for London Business School and IMD and is a member of the global leadership and coaching faculties for Barclays, BP and Nestlé. A third-culture adult herself, she specialises in intercultural leadership and teams.
Katherine Sum - Hong Kong
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Eric Sampson - Hong Kong
Eric is a specialist in Leadership Development, Executive and Business Coaching, Cross Cultural Communication and Diversity & Inclusion. He has been working as a communications training consultant and executive coach since 2008 and regularly works with senior executives up to ‘C’ suite level, in both small groups and individually.
Alex Park - Korea
Alex is an accredited executive coach, facilitator and business consultant based in Seoul. After working as a banker for more than 30 years in New York, Zurich, London and Seoul, he left the financial industry to pursue his dual passions: the development of his clients’ businesses/lives, and improvisational theatre. He works extensively on executive presence, presenting and communication skills. He is a familiar name in Korean media and theatre and was selected as one of the twenty-one individuals who will lead Korea in the 21st century.
Alistair Scott - UK
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Babara Lee Draminsky - Singapore
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Edward Choy - Singapore
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Elizabeth Redfern - Australia
Now based in Melbourne Elizabeth previously spent more than twenty years in Hong Kong and APAC working with international law firms, corporations, media groups and consultancies. She is a specialist in marketing, communications and business development, and has wide experience with maternity/ parental coaching. As a coach, Elizabeth brings an understanding of demanding commercial environments, and a keen interest in high performance, personal brand building and fostering female talent. Elizabeth’s coaches both face-to-face and virtually, and her style fuses business acumen with empathy and creativity.
Charlie Whalley - Thailand
Charlie is an Executive Coach and Mentor for middle and senior managers who want to increase their impact and fast track their growth. She is a highly experienced ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and Firework Career Transition Coach.
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Crystal Chu - Philippines
Crystal has been a passionate disciple of acting for over 20 years, giving notable performance in theatre, film, television and household-name commercials, both in Hong Kong and overseas.
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Natasha Jain - USA
Natasha is a British-born actor and facilitator, who recently relocated from Hong Kong to New York. Natasha began her career working for leading global law firms. Over the subsequent decade she extended her career into HR, Human Rights, and Marketing and Sustainability, working with leading financial institutions, several start-ups and boutique consultancies. Skilled in navigating the complexities of the corporate matrix, Natasha now brings her skills in stakeholder relations to bear in the leadership learning space. An impactful and influential communicator, she is a leader in Theatre-Led Learning design and delivery.
Piny Ly - Thailand
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Tony Wang - Shanghai
Tony focuses on strengths-based leadership for senior management roles, plus team coaching and facilitation around high- performance team dynamics. On top of his solid 16 years’ corporate work experience, he has dedicated more than ten years to personal growth and team development work.
Yvonne Yam - Japan
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Sonali Edwards - Dubai
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Jo Tan - Singapore
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Emery Fung - Hong Kong
Emery is a DEI consultant based in Hong Kong. He helps value-driven businesses turn difficult conversations into powerful connections through an intersectional, culturally relevant lens.
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Formerly the Diversity & Inclusion Director for Gay Games Hong Kong 2023, he introduced their Gender Inclusive Policy. Emery came out as a transgender man on LinkedIn, a pivotal moment in his DEI journey. His lived experience—navigating ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety—fuels his work. Fluent in Cantonese and English, he supports leaders with localised strategies that drive inclusive impact across teams and cultures.
Matangi Gowrishankar - India
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