The Butterfly Beyond the Wall
Aug 3
/
Sally Dellow
Can we fly into the future today?
I am an unabashed Harry Potter fan.
In The Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter suddenly finds that he can no longer run through the wall to access Platform 93/4 at King’s Cross Station. That denies him access to the train to Hogwarts School – and all magical life he’s meant to live. He may be a wizard, but when he bangs into those bricks, he’s having a decidedly unmagical ‘Muggle moment’… He feels stuck, frustrated, ordinary, bereft.
I’ve felt like a muggle quite a bit recently. Life with aeroplanes and holidays was magical. Life with brunches and beaches was glorious. Time spent face-to-face with family and friends was an endless happy, golden experience… (Or it certainly it seems that way now that my is face pressed unexpectedly up against a hard brick wall!).
I’ve felt like a muggle quite a bit recently. Life with aeroplanes and holidays was magical. Life with brunches and beaches was glorious. Time spent face-to-face with family and friends was an endless happy, golden experience… (Or it certainly it seems that way now that my is face pressed unexpectedly up against a hard brick wall!).
Managing my muggle moments
Living in Hong Kong, some of the bricks in my wall are political (US/China axis, anyone? National Security Law?). Other bricks are made of Covid-19 (my partner in lockdown elsewhere, missing my mother’s 80thbirthday…). Some are simply the opaque glass bricks of being ‘a certain age’ in the midst of an uncertain time.
Recent conversations with my coaching clients, with Heads of HR/talent and with leaders across industries tell me I’m not alone against the wall. But I want to feel less trapped, less oppressed. So, I’m going to share with you how I’ve been figuring out ways to pass through the wall of ‘what is’, and spend time frolicking in ‘what could be’? After all, the ghosts at Hogwarts pass easily through walls – so why shouldn’t I?
Doing nothing to discover something
For a while after Covid-19 hit I tried lots of formal learning and all the other ‘positive, productive things’ I could do with my time. I felt more trapped, more burdened, more unclear. Trying too hard to DO made me feel negative. What I gave myself instead was permission to take time and space to BE: to use idleness and rest to exercise that under-used mind muscle – my imagination.
Instead of spending my spare/‘me’ time in films, social media, formal study, books, I try to rest, walk, stretch, daydream. I doodle. As a visual person, I particularly allow images to enter into my head. I’m choosing to respect my right brain and my subconscious.
Then I go on to the internet and Google around to research the random images, words and phrases that have caught my attention… I see where the associations take me. I try to let go of intention, planning, directing and controlling, and allow my subconscious some space to share its wisdom.
Key structures and imaginal discs
An example of the process in action: I was on my yoga mat doing Trauma and Tension Releasing Exercises (TRE® – see resources below) when an image and the word “cocoon” popped into my head. When I researched cocoons I discovered that a chrysalis is different. Certain caterpillars build a chrysalis inside which they dissolve themselves down into key structures, then use imaginal discs to build themselves into a butterfly. Wow…!
I started wondering: What if Covid-19 isolation is my chrysalis? What are my key structures? What would my business and life look like if it became a butterfly?
With my coloured pens, I drew, wrote stream of consciousness. Then I spotted that a friends was offering online Tea & Tarot sessions, so I called and added a Tarot reading into the mix! Then took all those associations and words and sat with them some more. And – though I’m not ready to share it yet – I have a dream emerging from the chrysalis. It’s fluttering inside me, preparing to fly over the wall and into the future.
And that’s inspirational. And inspiration triggers action. So now I’m starting to get practical. There are pockets of deep focus when I’m working on key structures: budgets, targets, markets, methods. I have creativity, patience and hope… All of which have seemed in short supply these past few months.
Resources for the eye-rollers
I realise my slightly woo-woo approach may induce scorn and eye-rolling in my more left-brain readers :o). I don’t apologise for that – after all, my background is in theatre, and my company is called Dramatic Difference!
If left-brain logic is taking you into a realm of clarity and hope, HURRAH! Keep going. If using your body for competitive sports fills you with endorphins and gives you great mental focus, HURRAH! Carry on.
This blog is for those who – in the current circumstances – feel wedged against a wall in their left brain, or trapped in a physical stress cycle. I’m here to remind you that your brain has two halves, that both operate as an intrinsic part of your physical body. Maybe embracing some gentle, restful, imaginative and creative ways to approach your thinking, your struggle, your future, your SELF, might dismantle the wall or produce a set of butterfly wings…
Below are some online (and local HK) resources. These are how I set my subconscious free. They work for me, but may not for you. That’s cool. Please share with me any others you enjoy:
Bodywork: Online resources
Rain walking
Article (8 Healthy Reasons To Walk In The Rain)
Forest bathing (shinrin-yoku)
Article (‘Forest Bathing’ Is Great for Your Health. Here’s How to Do It)
TRE®
Article (Can shaking exercises improve stress and PTSD?)
Bodywork: Hong Kong resources
5Rhythms with Moving Steps
(click here)
Shinrin Yoku Hong Kong
(click here)
TRE®
I am certifying as a TRE provider, so if you’re in HK and would like to experience this – for free – please write to [email protected]
Float On Hong Kong
(click here)
Visual/intuitive: Online resources
Visual/Intuitive: Hong Kong Resources
Connect with my dear friend Katie Flowers at the WildatArtStudio – she offers in-person and online sessions, and is a guru of creative wellness.
Stanford science & Wonderfully woo-woo
- Thrive Global
- Tea & Tarot – contact [email protected] for a touch of Tea & Tarot.
Vipul Maholtra, Hong Kong
Vipul is a Leadership Facilitator, Executive Coach, and Actor. His passion is to work specifically in areas of Individual Leadership and Organizational Development with expertise in Executive Presence, Storytelling with Presence, Situational Leadership, Managing Team Dynamics, and Emotional Intelligence.
Harry Marshall - Singapore
As a facilitator and coach, Harry specialises in leadership transitions and career coaching. He works supporting leadership and functional teams across APAC, drawing on his operational and commercial background developing and servicing complex client accounts. Since 1995, he has lived & worked in Singapore, Indonesia and the Philippines and has extensive commercial experience across the region. His passion is helping clients to to understand, leverage and refine their leadership style, develop skills in presentation, communication and dialogue, and build psychological safety in teams for high performance.
Sally Dellow - Hong Kong
Sally is an executive coach and facilitator (and an actor, playwright and published poet) with over 30 years global experience. A specialist in leadership coaching and team development, Sally is an active thought partner with thousands of hours of coaching up to C-suite/Board level. She coaches for London Business School and IMD and is a member of the global leadership and coaching faculties for Barclays, BP and Nestlé. A third-culture adult herself, she specialises in intercultural leadership and teams.
Katherine Sum - Hong Kong
Katherine is both a skilled facilitator and a specialist in L&D support and business operations. Formerly Director of Marketing and Communications for the International Association of Facilitators (IAF) Hong Kong, she specialises in Process Facilitation, Facilitation Training and Lego® Serious Play®. Whether facilitating a group or supporting clients behind the scenes with administration, logistics and account management, Kat brings a highly exploratory and engaging style to every encounter. She values her reputation for connecting deeply in the service of excellent client outcomes.
Eric Sampson - Hong Kong
Eric is a specialist in Leadership Development, Executive and Business Coaching, Cross Cultural Communication and Diversity & Inclusion. He has been working as a communications training consultant and executive coach since 2008 and regularly works with senior executives up to ‘C’ suite level, in both small groups and individually.
Alex Park - Korea
Alex is an accredited executive coach, facilitator and business consultant based in Seoul. After working as a banker for more than 30 years in New York, Zurich, London and Seoul, he left the financial industry to pursue his dual passions: the development of his clients’ businesses/lives, and improvisational theatre. He works extensively on executive presence, presenting and communication skills. He is a familiar name in Korean media and theatre and was selected as one of the twenty-one individuals who will lead Korea in the 21st century.
Alistair Scott - UK
Alistair specialises in senior client relationship management, presentations, pitching, personal impact and public speaking. Clients benefit from his unique combination of professional training as a stage and screen actor, combined with the insights from a 25-year career as a senior investment banker in the UK, Europe and Asia. Working with executives (up to and including Chairman and CEO), Alistair helps to improve communication and relationship development skills with both clients and colleagues. He advises on personal brand and franchise building within the corporate world, and supports executives to maximise their impact in high-level presentations and pitches.
Babara Lee Draminsky - Singapore
Currently based in Singapore, Babara has over 25 years of working experiences in retail, hospitality, food & beverage, marketing and advertising, public relations, conferences and events management, coaching and training industries. She has worked and lived in Hong Kong, China, Taiwan, Denmark, Spain, and Los Angeles, and is fluent in English, Mandarin, Cantonese, and conversational Danish and Spanish.
Edward Choy - Singapore
Edward graduated with a Master’s Degree in Theatre and lectures at the National University of Singapore in the fields of Acting Theory and Performance Studies. He is an experienced communication and management skills trainer, combining a strong grasp of management theory and a dynamic sense of enthusiasm with 17 years of experience in corporate training, as well as work experience in retail banking as a wealth manager. He also regularly conducts financial literacy talks and hosts public forums and panel discussions with renowned financial experts for The Singapore Exchange (SGX), in addition to a host of other financial institutions and organisations.
Elizabeth Redfern - Australia
Now based in Melbourne Elizabeth previously spent more than twenty years in Hong Kong and APAC working with international law firms, corporations, media groups and consultancies. She is a specialist in marketing, communications and business development, and has wide experience with maternity/ parental coaching. As a coach, Elizabeth brings an understanding of demanding commercial environments, and a keen interest in high performance, personal brand building and fostering female talent. Elizabeth’s coaches both face-to-face and virtually, and her style fuses business acumen with empathy and creativity.
Charlie Whalley - Thailand
Charlie is an Executive Coach and Mentor for middle and senior managers who want to increase their impact and fast track their growth. She is a highly experienced ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and Firework Career Transition Coach.
She has over 20years’ experience in senior roles in the UK and overseas. She has worked in both start-up environments and large complex matric organizations. Her industry experience spans across many sectors, including F&B, healthcare, energy & resources, education, travel and sports & leisure. As a result, she has a deep understanding of how to successfully navigate career transitions, senior leadership challenges and team dynamics.
Crystal Chu - Philippines
Crystal has been a passionate disciple of acting for over 20 years, giving notable performance in theatre, film, television and household-name commercials, both in Hong Kong and overseas.
Crystal is an experienced coach and facilitator who combines her acting expertise with positive psychology to help individuals and teams unlock their potential. Her approach integrates theatrical techniques with practical tools for overcoming challenges and fostering growth.
Natasha Jain - USA
Natasha is a British-born actor and facilitator, who recently relocated from Hong Kong to New York. Natasha began her career working for leading global law firms. Over the subsequent decade she extended her career into HR, Human Rights, and Marketing and Sustainability, working with leading financial institutions, several start-ups and boutique consultancies. Skilled in navigating the complexities of the corporate matrix, Natasha now brings her skills in stakeholder relations to bear in the leadership learning space. An impactful and influential communicator, she is a leader in Theatre-Led Learning design and delivery.
Piny Ly - Thailand
Piny is a transformation coach and business consultant who works with clients internationally. She helps executives, entrepreneurs and professionals break through the feeling stuck in their careers or business, gain clarity and confidence in their decision-making, and unlock their full potential. A lawyer by training, Piny had a successful career both in private practice and in-house in Sydney and Hong Kong, before moving to Cambodia in 2020 to reconnect with her Cambodian roots. Committed and creative, Piny has served as a non-profit board member, volunteered with a children’s education NGO, mentored young entrepreneurs, and launched a women’s talk show.
Tony Wang - Shanghai
Tony focuses on strengths-based leadership for senior management roles, plus team coaching and facilitation around high- performance team dynamics. On top of his solid 16 years’ corporate work experience, he has dedicated more than ten years to personal growth and team development work.
Yvonne Yam - Japan
For more than 20 years, Yvonne has been coaching MNC and NGO leaders. She is also a master facilitator known for her passionate, insightful and creative style. Yvonne has studied and worked in the USA, Hong Kong, and Japan. A constant learner, she is continually equipping herself with new skills and methodologies, including Integral Change theory, and she brings each new-found approach to her client practice. Yvonne engages and empowers her clients to develop holistic and sustainable habits to support their goals and aspirations. Now resident in Japan, Yvonne coaches in Cantonese, Mandarin, and English.
Sonali Edwards - Dubai
Sonali is an experienced Executive Coach working at EXCO level and with senior business professionals to amplify their leadership capability.
Sonali also serves as an Executive Coach with IMD Business School on programs including High Performance Leadership (HPL) and Inspirational Leadership (IL) with distinguished Professor of Leadership and Organizational Behaviour, George Kohlrieser. Based in the UAE, Sonali has worked internationally for 22 years.
Jo Tan - Singapore
Jo is a multi-awarded actor and writer, as well as a qualified lawyer who was called to the Singapore bar in 2005 before electing to focus on writing and performing. As a journalist, her articles have been commissioned by Today newspaper, Time Out Singapore, the arts magazine The A-List, and The Singapore Airlines’ inflight magazine SilverKris. Her scripting and performance work been seen on stages and screens in various cities, including New York, Yeosu, London, Beijing, and Cannes for its famed film festival, as well as Singapore, where she won the Best Original Script category in the Life! Theatre Awards 2022, as well as the Best Actress title for the recent two editions in a row.
Emery Fung - Hong Kong
Emery is a DEI consultant based in Hong Kong. He helps value-driven businesses turn difficult conversations into powerful connections through an intersectional, culturally relevant lens.
Formerly the Diversity & Inclusion Director for Gay Games Hong Kong 2023, he introduced their Gender Inclusive Policy. Emery came out as a transgender man on LinkedIn, a pivotal moment in his DEI journey. His lived experience—navigating ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety—fuels his work. Fluent in Cantonese and English, he supports leaders with localised strategies that drive inclusive impact across teams and cultures.
Formerly the Diversity & Inclusion Director for Gay Games Hong Kong 2023, he introduced their Gender Inclusive Policy. Emery came out as a transgender man on LinkedIn, a pivotal moment in his DEI journey. His lived experience—navigating ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety—fuels his work. Fluent in Cantonese and English, he supports leaders with localised strategies that drive inclusive impact across teams and cultures.
Matangi Gowrishankar - India
Matangi is a seasoned executive coach and facilitator with over three decades of global experience working in large organisations Indian by passport, Matangi has travelled extensively, and has global leadership experience in the UK and Singapore working on a broad geographic remit across APAC, India, Middle East, Turkey, Southern Africa, UK, and the USA. A specialist in organizational development, change management, leadership development and team dynamics, Matangi has a keen interest in international business and intercultural leadership. She works with clients worldwide, both virtually and face-to-face.
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